Suffering with Treatment-Resistant Depression

I should not be writing to you. I am sure you have millions sending you the same sort of message. I have suffered depression on occasions since I was 31 years of age, although, when well, I am a most positive, encouraging and caring person -

I am now 63. I thought I had cracked it when put on a prescription of Venlofaxine and I was well for many years. However, I cannot even pinpoint why, I went into depression again last January. They told me to increase the medication which I did but to no advantage. Sometimes I don't even think I am depressed, instead I feel it is my own attitude and that I should be getting on with it and making the most of life, instead of feeling as if I wish I was dead. This time I have even lost my faith in God. I have recently had a series of ECT treatments and have now been put on Quetiapine FUM and Mirtazapine. I still feel depressed? If someone could tell me a sure, quick and easy way of getting out of this life I would take it.

It is not as if I don't try - I have a job 2 days per week which, although proving difficult at the moment, I have stuck to. I tried going on a horticulture course but realize that it is too technical for me right now and am seriously thinking of telling the tutor I just can't do it. I try to keep busy at home even though I find it a struggle but I just don't want to go on.

I have been married for 41 years and I am driving my husband mad. We have a lovely son aged 32 who lives in London, England and he is bringing his partner to New Zealand at Christmas for a holiday. How can I get better for them?

Is there any way in which you can help me?

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