I become very hostile towards myself

I am an 18-year old male who over the past few months has had several strange 'episodes' (for lack of a better term) in which I become very hostile towards myself. I hit myself over the head with anything I can find (or my fist if I can't find anything), I argue with myself, and I have a very strong sense of resentment, usually wishing that I was dead. And yet, I haven't told anyone about the 'episodes' because I fear they may be nothing more than a cry for attention. I can't figure out if I'm making it up, or if there is something wrong with me. And when I try to find the answer, it makes me feel like my brain is split in two. I don't want to tell any of my friends or family in fear of how they might react. Just as a sign of how clueless I am about where to turn to, here I am asking a complete stranger about my most intimate concerns. My question is an easy, and yet complicated one: at what point should a person seek help, and based on what I have provided you with, am I at that level? Or are my (other) thoughts correct in saying that this is all fabricated?

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